Wonder
by lau85
Summary: Things don’t always go as planned. DARKFIC. DawnSpike


Disclaimer: characters are not mine.

A/N: WARNING – darkfic. It was kind of depressing (and sometimes made me physically sick) to write, but the plot bunnies were rabid. AU for the series finale of Buffy.

Special thanks to dragonfly123, my beta. Darling, you're magic.

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Wonder

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We were supposed to save the world. That was the plan, anyway. The carefully constructed, fully researched, anally followed plan. It's been my experience, in all my time of being a tag-along and probably somewhere in the non-existent years too, that plans really never go the way they're supposed to, but usually Buffy managed to do something ridiculously heroic and save everyone anyway.

That wasn't how it happened this time.

Willow was activating the Potentials, according to plan. Buffy and Faith were fighting their asses off, according to plan. Spike was wearing the amulet, sort of according to plan. But there was one thing we hadn't factored in, and that was what it was doing _inside_ of him. The amulet was some sort of pure energy, sure, but it was un-sided energy. It wasn't energy that had gotten up that morning and decided to win the fight for good; it was just sort of _there_, giving Spike all sorts of power and making him glow in weird colors.

Of course we all know what Spike was thinking when he put the damn thing on, right? He was going to be a savior, a champion, a world-saver. Too bad for him that his demon chose that moment to beat out the power of his soul for about a second. Before Buffy had a chance to get to him, his demon grabbed the energy of the amulet and shattered his soul, turning good ol' Spike into a Big Bad again. Bigger and Badder than he'd been even before he came to Sunnydale, now that he had the amulet.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Angel had worn the amulet instead, like the Senior Partners had originally intended. Would things have gone down the same?

Suddenly aware of his bad self, Spike ripped off the amulet and stopped the energy from escaping and saving us all. It got all wrapped up inside of him, and his demon played with it, until he was absolutely _glowing_ with evil. Since I didn't see it, he had to tell me what it was like, and I'm a little pissed that instead of watching him take down the army, I was fighting for my life miles away. It does make a real nice bedtime story, though, how he surprised Buffy. She thought he'd died, you see, and hadn't expected to see him again. But boy, did she see him again. She saw him rip the head right off poor Faith, then tear Rona's throat out. And while she stood there, all frozen in shock, the freaky old school vamps swarmed the school and killed everyone inside.

At this point in the story sometimes Spike has to stop, because I kind of remember seeing them come towards me, all bloody teeth and serious skin problems. It was scary as hell, until I saw my White Knight come to my rescue. He broke the neck of one who was trying to eat me – we didn't think you could kill them that way, but Spike can. I cried out his name in relief, but then he grinned at me, still vamped out, and I was terrified. I knew something was wrong, because of the way he was looking at me. He'd always loved me, even when him and Buffy were fighting, but this was a look like he'd never given me before. It was all with the lusty and the hunger. I fought him then, I remember. I'd been trained with the rest of the SIT's, so I knew my stuff. I didn't have superhuman strength, but neither did the rest of the potentials because Willow and Kennedy had been killed before she'd finished the spell. I had rage, though, and blind terror. Spike chuckles and tells me I fought like a wildcat, and almost staked him before he had a chance to turn me.

I couldn't do it though, he says. I couldn't kill him because I loved him too much, and I hesitated when I should have staked and he tackled me and pinned me down, and the struggles only made me taste sweeter. I still have sweet blood, he tells me, but sometimes I think he's just trying to sweet-talk me, no pun intended. He's such a shmoop, but only around me. Everyone else is scared to death of him, and rightly so. He's at the top of the chain now, like he always should have been, and no one can fight him except for me.

There's nothing much left to the story, except that Sunnydale's finally the Mouth of Hell that it's always wanted to be. I'm not shoved aside anymore, not like I was when _they_ were alive. I'm Spike's mate, and everyone treats me like a queen. I don't even have to hunt if I don't want to – I have minions to do it for me. Isn't that the coolest thing ever? I, Dawn Summers, have my very own _minions_. Spike lets me pick them, because he knows that if he doesn't, I'll kick his ass.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Angel had worn the amulet. Maybe the Scoobies would still be alive. Hell, maybe _Angel_ would still be alive… well, more alive than he is now, that's for sure. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we'd saved it like originally planned.

Then I see the loving, longing, hungry look Spike gives me as he offers me another piece of mailman, and I realize I don't give a shit.


End file.
